Archive for October, 2007

The Great Equalizer

Here’s a little something that brightened up my day. It is taken out of the chapter “Get off the golf course and DO something” from Lee Iacocca’s book “Where Have All the Leaders Gone?”, which I have written about previously.

There is no escaping mortality, and the older you get the more you’re reminded of it. Death is the great equalizer, and we all look pretty much the same lying in the coffin. Life is where you can make things happen. So, if when you retire you think, “I’m tired. It’s time to relax,” think again. As the saying goes, you’ve got all eternity to catch up on your rest.


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Oxy Moron

Do you know what an oxymoron is? It is when you have two contradictory terms, for example, “cruel kindness”, “energetic exhaustion” and “handgun safety”. I’m not sure how it applies to my life but oxymoron comes to my mind when I think of where I am today.

It doesn’t make it any easier when taking an extra look at the “sewing Maria’s head up” picture- one part is smiling back at me and the other is scowling.

Dancer Turning (Anti) Clockwise

Australia’s biggest selling daily newspaper, the Herald Sun, had a Left v.s. Right Brain Test on October 9th.

Supposedly most people see the dancer turning anti-clockwise. I first thought that was “fantasy based”, people must be nuts. It has to be an Australian thing- everything is the other way round in the south hemisphere e.g. the moon hanging up-side-down, whirlpools going the other direction. However, when I started reading the “Right brain function list”, I saw in the corner of my eye that she had started turning the other way…

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

It is amazing the amount of support and energy my “therapeutic blog” has provided me with. That means you guys. It is not only your comments, but also your emails, text messages, cards, flowers, telephone calls. I am overwhelmed and at loss for words. I have with my last image been trying to sew it all up. I am not sure how to do that. I have been encouraged to keep writing yet there is an urge within me to move on. I’m just not sure how.

Some day I’ll wish upon a star, wake up where the clouds are far behind, where trouble melts like lemon drops high above the chimney top that’s where you’ll find me…

Mike, “Freedom is in a smile” ūüôā

Maple Leaves

Toronto, what can I say? She is the same, yet different. She has grown and evolved, yet remained very much the same providing me with my longing for nostalgia:

Crimson Millway, Harrison Public School, Edwards Garden, Niagara Falls, Pizza-Pizza, CN Tower, garage sales, Harvey’s onion rings, Autumn colours at 32¬įC.

Best of all was having Zaman by my side and meeting up with good friends. Thank you Martin, Louise, Stacey, Russell, Sven, Birgitta, Gunilla, Lillemor, Elliot, Annika, Phil, KG and Margareta for giving us of your time and hospitality.

Skyline of City of Toronto

Dancing Bag

I’ve had some 72 hours to think about the new turn life suddenly took on Monday. That piece of A4 paper where it read that there was no visible tumour residue¬†is my ticket back to the cat race, I suppose. Naturally I’m elated and a huge burden has been lifted.

I was taken out of the race on January 31st, over night. Eight months later I’m supposedly¬†back in, after a neurological consultation. It’s all so abrupt and I feel as if I need to catch my breath. I have for the past eight months been contemplating the possibility¬†that I may¬†not get to be a¬†part of my husband and son’s lives.

I feel like the white feather in Forrest Gump blowing around in the gusts of wind, or the “dancing bag” in American Beauty. Hopefully I will get a chance to catch my breath when Zaman and I fly to Toronto on October 5th. My need for nostalgia is still¬†pertinent. Hopefully going away¬†for a while will help me gain perspective and¬†a sense of¬†reality.

Definitive Statement

We sat down in the waiting room 30 minutes early. The parking nightmare last Wednesday reminded us to leave the house early. At 1:00 PM sharp, my Neurologist shows up and my thoughts were first, “good he’s alone- no extra supporting staff”. I tried to gain clues from looking at his face, but he divulged nothing. We sat down by his desk and he looked into my face and asked if we had found out anything aobut the CT scan. I thought it was a bit of a strange question. How could we possibly have heard anything? Hence he read from a piece of paper that he afterwards passed across the desk to us:

Definitive statement

Definitivt utlåtande:
DATORTOMOGRAFI AV HJ√ĄRNA UTAN OCH MED KONTRAST: Frontalt h√∂ger finns nu en cirka 3 cm stor postoperativ h√•lighet. I anslutning till denna finns sm√§rre f√∂rkalkningar i parenchymet. Inga synliga, kontrastuppladdande tum√∂rrester.

Let med try to translate above into English for you:

Definitive statement:
COMPUTER TOMOGRAPHY OF BRAIN WITHOUT AND WITH CONTRAST AGENT: Frontal right comprises of an approximately 3 cm post-operative cavity. In conjunction, smaller calcifications in the parenchyma. No visible, contrast agent loaded tumour residue.

Let me just say that the above is VERY GOOD NEWS. Maria is happy and will hopefully be sleeping soundly tonight.

Live now,
believe me, wait not till tomorrow;
Gather the roses of life today.
/Pierre de Ronsard