I’ve wanted for some time now to get the date set for my CT scan. It’s my ticket out of this bubble and back into the world of the living. I didn’t think waiting for the date would affect me as much as it has. I can’t feel joy at the moment, yet I keep trying to remind myself to live every breath of life.

When I get into a morbid state of mind, I try to remember what I learned during my Catholic/Protestant/Buddhist retreat before the summer: When you breathe in, imagine that you inspire what’s good in life (happiness, fulfillment, love) and when you expire you breathe out gloom and forlornness.

You know what? Getting that phone call from hospital just now offered me relief and a sense of calm and the conversation was too long for me to hold my breath. I have a few things planned for September, seeing old friends and even making a trip to Stockholm. When I heard that the scan was set for September 26th at 10 am I breathed out and thought, “perfect, I’m not double-booked”.
The photo is taken in Slottskogen, the equivalent of Central Park here in Gothenburg. The sculpture is by Ralph Lundqvist, and it’s one of my favorite. It’s good to have it so close by.