WordPress has a 100 list of growing blogs and The Long Goodbye is No. 3 (and is a good read if your interested in US politics). I don’t know what it means to be on there at No. 93 when supposedly there are 1,135,820 blogs on WordPress. I suppose 1,135,720 of these must either be idle, or someone’s doing a lot of clicking to see “Hannibal-like” pictures from my surgery (I don’t think anything was consumed, though).

>>> WARNING: Here Be Spoilers <<<

• SPOILER: Ray Liotta actually ate dark chicken meat during the “brain-eating scene”.
• SPOILER: A special animatronic puppet of Ray Liotta was used for some parts of the brain-eating scene. Liotta himself has said that he’s not sure exactly which shots are actually him or the puppet.

If you want to feel really scared, watch below… (you have been warned):

“An Indien woman went to visit a good friend in New York one day. They walked along the shopping streets of Manhattan, in the midst of the hectic city pulse. The noise from car horns and street vendors was mixed with sounds from people crowding the streets.Suddenly the Indien woman stopped and exclaimed, “I hear a cricket!” The friend laughed slightly and explained that it was not possible to hear a cricket with all the noise, but the woman persisted.

“I can hear a cricket very close by”.

The Indien woman walked up to a big clay pot adorning the entrance of one of the stores, where a large plant spread its leaves. Underneath one of the leaves the woman carefully revealed a small cricket. The friend was astonished.

“But this is unbelievable!” she exclaimed. “You must have supernaturally good hearing!”

“No, no”, said the Indien woman with a smile. “My ears are no different from yours. Everything depends on what you listen for. Watch this.”

The woman took out some coins, dropped them on the sidewalk so that they bounced away with a clinking sound. At that moment a dozen or so people turned their heads.

“You see”, said the Indien woman. “Everything depends on what you listen for.”

Translated from Alltid älskad 2 – Published by Argument

I’m trying to listen but it is so, so hard. The hardest of all is listening to myself, to that “inner voice” and with that taking the courage to challenge myself. Here is what the book says: “We often complain that God does not speak to us and that we do not get our prayers answered. Perhaps the truth is that God more often speaks in the calm whispers than in the roaring storms- but he still speaks. Whether or not we hear him is a different question. Everything depends on what we listen for…”

“There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.”
Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Now that I’ve shocked you with being into ”Drugs, Sex and Rock n’Roll”, what else can I write about? I don’t have much time. I have extactly one hour before my clock starts ticking in the shrink’s office (and I don’t even get a couch, but she’s good!). I see that I’m back at using time phrases again- the “T-word” (as opposed to the “F-word”, I suppose).

Yesterday I just slept for I was so, so tired. The day passed quickly. Today I feel as if I don’t have anything but time, but the question is, do I? Or will it all be over in 2-3 years like some books say? What would you do if you only knew that you had about one good year to go?

Maybe watch TV like Zaman and I did last night, cuddled up in the sofa. In the Simpsons, Marge was scared of flying . In the Family Guy, Stewie met Jesus during a close-death encounter. Stewie remakred that Jesus didn’t know his last name was Christ… and he was Chinese. Both my husband and I had a good chuckle plus it gave me food for thought.

Yesterday I became a member of Turn To Islam. Their introduction reads…

We are dedicated to bringing the latest Islamic videos, media and information to help challenge the negative propoganda spread by the media and to educate people about Islam and the Muslim World. The hatred some people might show towards Islam and the ill-practices of some Muslims should not hinder a Person from seeking the truth!

Speaking in previous posts about the future, I listened to an interesting service in my church on Sunday, by a brilliant and funny man, with the title Hymn to the Future. He based his talk on Psalm 98, passages from Jeremiah and Romans 8, among other. What I liked is that he did not preach DOOMS DAY.

He spoke of life, that we shall be set free and that we do not need to think of death as the end to an adventure. I know you readers out there all have very specific and different faiths. My faith has definitely been strengthened as a result of recent events. It has helped me prepare for the worst. There is a lot to talk about, many questions to ask, but I sure hope to acheive victory, either way things go.

I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.

1 Corinthians 15:50-52

I just spammed my first spam, and I’m not talking about any canned meat products. Someone who was selling second hand Fords managed to worm their way into my favorite post, “My First Kiss“.

I’ve thought about that very first entry quite a bit. I can still remember feeling that tingling feeling inside of me, that I had finally been able to put down into words how I have felt about things over the years. It helps me now, when the time is 01:38 a.m (GMT+01:00) and neither drugs and/or sex work, which are currently ranked pretty high on Maria’s “Enter Sandmann” list.

Here’s food for thought and I doubt that I’ve come up with it myself:

We don’t choose our CONSCIENCE, but we do choose our FORGIVENESS.

After my last post, I’ve been feeling somewhat bad lashing out at The Good News. I based my opinion of them on just ONE article. What if people would base their opinion of me on just ONE meeting, ONE question, ONE garment of clothing. Many have, and so have I, especially when I’ve felt rushed or in an awkward position.

Do you see (dead) people? If you’re at a banquet with people you have to mingle, network, rub shoulders with (call it whatever you like), how many of you start off by asking, “So, what do you do?”. I used to hate that question post-op, for I wasn’t sure what the heck I was doing. I knew perfectly well what I had been doing – I could have handed over a detailed list of four or five balls that I wouldn’t have dreamt of falling to the floor. 

As I currently don’t feel as comfortable identifying myself in what I do, my comfort level grows when instead someone throws me, “So, who are you?”. The difference is huge albeit it may take a few more minutes to hit common ground. What’s so wrong about that? You may find that the Janitor can tell the Director just about everything that needs to be done for a comapny’s survival. If you see it from the eyes of the frequenters, you may just learn a thing or two. How about patients?

Hearken, Ruminate, Parley.  

I wrote about “the Missing Dimension” on May 9th. I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t missing anything, so I placed an order (for free) and I got the envelope yesterday. I only flipped through the “Marriage & Family” magazine, but took a closer look at “The Good News - Understanding Your Future” that accompanied. You know how magazines stick advertisement junk so that when you flip through you get stuck on that one page? Well lets just say they helped me land on the article “The European Union: Blessing or Modern Tower of Babel?“

Before I cite passages from the Bible article, which Union State do you think this magazine originates from? Answer: Ohio (just thought I would let you know beforehand).

“According to the Holy Scriptures, the end result of efforts to unify Europe will not be a friendly group of democratic nations that will bless mankind in countless ways. Instead these efforts will lead to the rise of a new superpower led by a powerful dictator who will institute an unrivaled period of global tyranny and turmoil.

I can’t say that John Ross Schroeder will be wrong. However, I’ve always viewed the EU as our greatest chance at peace for we have an extremely dark history.

“The author of the Newsweek article (“The Golden Moment” 26-Mar-2007), Andrew Moravcsik, does not agree with the negative assessment of Europe. After all, he is the director of the European Union Program at Princeton University. He thinks of Europe as “the quiet superpower”… (that) the world is bipolar, and the other pole is Europe…”

P.S. The cover page of this “Good News”, this “Magazine of Understanding” showed a father and son with the phrase: How Can You Help Your Child Succeed? As a European, should I read it? Maybe I can understand what sets America and Europe apart so much, why I feel like we’re sometimes living on two different planets. My wonderful Euro-American friends, what do you guys reckon?

My daily fortune cookie has for the past couple of days read:

Happiness = Reality – Expectations

This is why I like fortune cookies. I’m not so sure about Magic 8-Balls for it recently read “OUTLOOK SO SO” when I got hold of the one my father keeps in his office (for a laugh I should add so not to worry anyone).

My mother always warned me as a teenager never to get my palm read or talk to people who gaze into crystal balls. Does this still go? If yes, I’m wondering if I should be listening to the news on the TV/radio or watch movies. I could probably make a long list of places to stay away from, including church, as warnings of the future to come are all around us.

My Far Side desk calendar from yesterday just took first price on this issue:

Three people are slaving away in hell rolling wheel-barrows full of rock. However, the kid in the back is whissling while doing so. One of the devils keeping watch whispers to the other, “We’re just not getting through to this one, are we?”.

I like to think that I am that kid.

If you had a choice, what would you rather have, a really itchy rash OR nausea? I am finding that the latter has entered my life since switching to valproic acid and the rash has disappeared. Or as we say in Swedish, what do you prefer, the plague or cholera?

These days I find that I grow just a teeny bit worried when anything is out of the ordinary with regards to my health. I thought I felt a lump on my throat the week prior to going to London. Now I’m experiencing bouts of nausea. I can’t go around worrying whether I am going to be struck by lightening my entire life. I would never be able to walk on the beach during storms ever again (not that I usually do, but the thought’s intriguing). On the other hand, sleeping and doing less during the days help. Additionally, eating properly works miracles. I hope my Psycotherapist on Thursday and/or Neurologist can say what’s wrong with me- if I’m say, dying of CANCER!

I told you about Facebook and LinkedIn the other day. Now I found another fun and yes, yes, yes list from a Group on Facebook with the slogan:

“to point out the typical clichés about the Swedish, through the eyes of the Swedish, without taking things too seriously.”

You know you are from Sweden when…

• Your family had to re-arrange a number of Christmas traditions when Arne Weise retired. (Maria: By gosh, we attended the same High-School along with the former president of the UN General Assembly Jan Eliasson, the Iranian-Swedish singer and songwriter Laleh and the Swedish “Bamse” comic creator Rune Andréasson.)
• You thought Astrid Lindgren was immortal and was shocked and cried your heart out when she actually did die.

• You really want to attend the Nobel Prize Dinner (Maria: My husband is about the only one I know who has).
• You get pissed off when Norwegians state that the peace prize is much more famous than the other Nobel prices.
• You go seriously sentimental when entering an IKEA store, outside the borders of Sweden.

Here are some other ones I thought were funny (meaning true?). The list had a total of 266 entries!

20. When you don’t really consider silence a problem in social situations.

26. You take your shoes off when entering a house, and don’t get why non-Swedes find that funny.
58. You find the idea of wall to wall carpets in bathrooms and toilets simply appalling.
60. You think you understand Danish.
61. The Danish think you understand Danish.
62. Ultimatley, when spoken, you don’t really understand Danish

75. You refuse to belive that snuff or “snus” is harmful.

76. Since snuff “isn’t harmful”, you can’t understand why no one except the Swedes use it…

86. You refer to some internationally famous Swedes by their nicknames, even when speaking to bewildered non-Swedes who have no clue what you are talking about (i.e. “Svennis” (Sven-Göran Ericsson) and “Henke” (Henrik Larsson).

91. You cannot see why the first floor you walk in to should be called anything but the first floor, and the next one up the second, and so on, and you get confused by this in every multi-storey building you enter.

146. People ask you if you have polarbears on the streets and you try to spread the myth further by stating it’s true.
166. You always try to defend Sweden for not being a part of “nasty” Europe where girls are sluts and there is no drinking age.
167. You don’t mind walking instead of taking the car.

182. You find teenage mums shocking and very strange; because you don’t know anyone who had a child before 25… and you thought that was young.
183. You thought ‘Aftonbladet’ and ‘Expressen’ were full of silly news…then you went abroad and found that many papers include nothing but naked women and sex.
184. You know they are the same, but you just don’t trust ibuprofen and paracetamol the way you trust Ipren and ALVEDON.

201. You ONLY eat candy on Saturdays.
203. You have to tell people to take of their bloody shoes when they come into your house.
214. You don’t consider Starbucks a proper café, since a real cafe is a atmospheric, groovy, cosy place not at all as brightly lit and multi national as Starbucks.
221.. You brag about the free healthcare and the free schoolsystem to every non-Swede that you have a political conversation with.

252. You have quoted Elin from Fucking Åmål MANY TIMES when you were a teenager (“Varför måste vi bo i fucking-jävla-kuk-Åmål?”, “Jag vill knarka”, “Jag ska bli psykolog. Eller… det tror jag i alla fall”, “Jag är hellre glad nu än om 25 år”, or “Jag ska aldrig mer bli ihop med nån. Jag ska bli celibat”)

254. You feel bad if you’re not outside on a sunny day.
255. You think that Robert Gustavsson is the funniest man alive, period.
256. It’s not strange that the (former) Prime Minister marries the CEO of “Systembolaget”

Sometimes I just need inspiration, hence I browse the Web. What compells me to write is all about urge. If I don’t feel it- I won’t write it. I have something brewing on the “Swedish Fuck Union” (Facket) and a sallad bar incident. The latter provided the final nail in the coffin I needed to just ask myself, why do I pay several hundred kronors per month for such rubbish? Besides, I’m on sick-leave and I asked my union what they could do for me. I got the answer “nothing”.

Moving on, “Tobias” has nothing to do with aforementioned. I read Emma’s post “Tobiasregistret” and felt compelled to write about it. I also realised that there are more things to life than “just” organ donorship. There is also “the national registry for voluntary bone marrow donors“, which is a field in itself. I’m glad I don’t have leukaemia for instance. By the way, you ARE living up to my Terms and Conditions, right? I will keep reminding you, just so you know.

Why am I so passionate about the conflict(s) in the Middle East? When the war raged in the Balkans it bored me at the time for I was confused and did not understand. On the other hand, the World Trade Centre bombings caught my attention whilst the boat and train disasters in India and Bangladesh were just headlines in the newspaper.

I have come to the realisation that I am connected with the conflicts that interest me. For instance, one of the most important people in my life lives in Jerusalem and experiences the discrimination whilst seeing at first hand the quiet ethnic cleansing being carried out by the state of Israel, everyday. It is not just about being married to a Palestinian, it is all that she has to suffer as a consequence of their love.

So what about the World Trade Centre? A friend of the family was at the World Trade Center subway station that morning of September 11, 2001 and I know several people who worked on Wall Street at the time. They all survived. However, one didn’t, which I just learned the other day during my IB reunion. David Tengelin, “the only Swede”, was two years above me at IB. I didn’t know him per se but I knew a few of his class mates. It’s strange how incidences like these can come back and haunt you years later and I wasn’t even there to experience any of it.

So what am I really on about? Well, I found a blog by Josef who I can’t say I know, but rather know of. We’re both from Fiskebäck, from the same church and I believe we have mutual friends. He too seems to be interested in theology slash politics slash philosophy slash whatever life throws at you (salt water?) and I like the quote:

“All understanding of reality involves a commitment, a venture of faith. No belief system can be faulted by the fact that it rests on unproved assumptions; what can and must be faulted is the blindness of its proponents to the fact that this is so.” – Lesslie Newbigin