Forget the cookies and apples, I’ve found something much better. DANONE Jordbaer/Jordgubb/Mansikka. Ei sa päite! Yum! Mums! Oishi!

Google, I’m back! With quotes like below, take me now or lose me forever. Besides, I wanted to find how above Finnish Do not cover was spelled, and Yahoo could not do it for me.

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
  – Jimmy Demaret

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.
  – Aristotle

For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
  – Richard Feynman

Although he refuses golf, which I forgive, my very own husband has contributed to iGoogle -> “Avgångar Från Hållplatser”. You can even see if the bus has disability access. Cool!

You want to know the weather forecast in Gothenburg, right? Well, CHECK-IT-OUT, baby!

Goteborg

11°C
Rain
Wind: SW at 32 km/h
Humidity: 94%

I hope to go to the final evening for the Music School in church, rain or shine. I was in that Music School once, some ten years ago, but I never showed for the final evening. I shall tonight, for I’m just one in the audience. Perfect weather, never trust the weatherman (or the Candyman for that matter).

… the Cookie Crumbles!

I’m just about to cycle off and buy apples. I love apples for they remind me of New York. In a way I can pretend that I am cycling to New York, just like our son, who since this morning is a Chicken Pox, pretendeds to be on a great big train. The bears, cows, frogs and one mother were all invited on board. It was very luxurious for we had all been given a seat of our own for each row of chair(s) on the train. Zubair, the Khyber Railway looks very exotic. Pakistan to Afghanistan, maybe one of these days, who knows?

I have also taken the opportunity to scare the daylights out of a sales rep who answered to “Ellos Privatlån – enkelt och bekvämt! (FINAREF AB).” Hey, I’m on sick leave, the money’s not exactly rolling in; hence, I am so so tempted to:

• Borrow 20 000 kr
• Pay back within 1-5 years
• NO SECURITY NEEDED!
• Initial cost 0 kr
• “Aviseringsavgift” (?) 0 kr (best of all, I’m sure)

Make sure to let your sales rep know of your great offer code: 071DB

Question by Maria the tumour-gal who you sent this great offer to: If I  bite the dust, will the loan be inherited by my family or just written off???

Tell me where to sign the dotted line where it says FUCK OFF ELLOS/FINAREF!!!

(Oh yeah, did I mention the really tiny text at the bottom (my vision must be going) – “only” 34.49% interest, oh and tax deductible). WTF??????? 

Return of the Killer Clones!, that’s what I would have preferred to have called it.

Last night, I hear my husband whisper into my ear when I wonder what is going on with me, whether this is the last of me; the last of,

“the train started with a jerk”… “on a whim (on an impulse) she bought a sailing boat”… “moving fast (“a fast pace”)”, “pull out weeds”… “shrug one’s shoulders (“show one’s indifference or contempt”)”… “pull oneself together, be carried away (“be seized with enthusiasm”), joining up, the fire brigade had to turn out, turn out (in answer to an emergency call), tweak…

… all in alphabetical order before I have to “go”. You know,

“croak , decease, depart, expire, pass (on), pass away, perish, succumb. Related Words disappear, fade. Phrases bite the dust. Near Antonyms be, exist, subsist; flourish, prosper, thrive. Antonyms breathe, live”

“No Maria, it’s an anxiety attack”. I should have seen the symptoms. I had one in Manchester in the middle of the night prior to post-Christmas exams in my second year. Good to have parents who don’t mind getting a telephone call from their torn up daughter at 2 am in the morning.

What can I say? I’m thankful not to be an orphan. I am thankful for the “Letter of Admission” for that means that Zubair can stay in Gothenburg a while longer and keep me inspired. I have another source of inspiration, which is an ”Experience of Chicago. That helps me too as does receiving the text message,

“En stenhög slutar vara en stenhög i det ögonblick en människa stannar i begruandan inför den och inom sig skapar bilden av en katedral.” ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY. KRAMAR! Mimmi

And a special someone gave me the book, “The Little Prince”, which I still to this date hold dear after almost ten years. I love getting an email where someone says that I can “hear” the feeling of loneliness and where a simple act of kindness can make all the difference. Is it too early for Äppelkaka (Apple Crumble)?

Growing up I sometimes dreamt that there had been a mix-up and one day my true parents, some King and Queen of the Twilight Zone would turn up at the doorstep with the words, “Sarah, we’re sorry, we didn’t know”. Today? I’m thankful for what I’ve got. Looking in on my family from the outside, to many we would probably look perfect- like health itself. If only they knew.

I love Science in both the Social and Natural sense for cell biology is even found in the designer world. Below image? It is not taken from my Stevens & Low “Human Histology” book. It is MADE by Cecilia Odden, something that I have yet to achieve in my field of work.

However, Zaman and I did create something that we can call “Made in the Holy Land” and here’s to our Honeymoon. If you find the pictures disturbing I can’t help you. We took these ourselves but I can make more slide shows for YOU. I should add that we’re looking at the time frame October/November 2004. Beautiful and awful at the same time. How is that possible?

Det är i skydd av varandra som människor lever. Irländskt Ordspråk

As Mankind becomes more liberal, they will be more apt to allow that all those who conduct themselves as worthy members of the community are equally entitled to the protections of civil government. I hope ever to see America among the foremost nations of justice and liberality.
George Washington
(1732 – 1799)

Do you know where the word “Tank” comes from (there is actually a point to this questions)? When I write tank, I mean the transport vehicle the Chinese military used to “almost” run down one in a billion Chinese. I hope that incidence was awarded best picture or footage of the year by someone. If nothing else, I award it. I wonder what the Chinese guy got…

I think I learned “Tank” at the Imperial War Museum in London or by someone who brought me there once. When the British were building the monsters during WWI, they advertised “Water Tanks”. I’m glad it was this and not the Red Cross as many seem to think these days when organising shootings at hospitals. I’m especially uncomfortable when it is my hospital, Sahlgrenska, and I’m in it. Supposedly no one got “hurt”. I didn’t find out about it until hearing about it on the news that night, snugged up in my warm bed. On a random but on the same idea (journalists, speak up!), my brother-in-law, Richard, sent me a great email the other night quoting a newspaper (it didn’t say which one, sorry),

Styckad kropp i skogsparti i Alby…polisen misstänker mord – vill inte säga om det är ett barn eller vuxen som hittats. Styckade kroppsdelar inlindade i plast hittades i dag i ett skogsområde i Alby söder om Stockholm. Polisen misstänker mord.

I must admit that I agree with the journalist; it’s amazing how the police may suspect murder as (s)he writes twice. Perhaps it was all an accident, being killed. Hm, I presume a woman (but possibly an unlucky bloke) just by accident is cut up into pieces and wrapped in plastic? I wonder who the gift was for, Stockholm? (Interestingly, the word “gift” is “poison” and/or “married” in Swedish).

I’m rambling and should probably get back to the point. We have a “Tank” being cut up in our basement as I speak. It’s an oil tank that my grandfather, Karl-Erik, installed some time in the early 1960’s. We’re paying several thousand kronors for cutting something up that my grandfather spent years trying to afford. I remember reading a birthday wish-list my mother, Christina, wrote when she was about six or seven, “En stor oljetank till min familj”. Time moves on, we “need” the extra room in the basement as we now have “bergvärme” (no idea what the English word is, but we’ve spent tons of money drillingl a >100 metre hole in our garden to get our heating from the solid rock below). Getting the oil tank out is a bargain in comparison. I wonder what the Grandfather guy got…

Timothy “Stewie” Wilson (Birmingham) and Hanna “Kippis” Raijas (Helsinki) are visiting my family for the weekend. The latter (who in reality is a lot happier than you may think from the photo) taught our son “Kippis” last time she was here and Elton hasn’t stopped since.

If you readers know of any fun things going on in Gothenburg this weekend, let me know. I know that Göteborg Gospel are playing at Koncerthuset on “Söndag 13 maj 2007 kl 18.00″, which would be fun as I know one of the participants. Sandra, good luck my darling and sing to your heart’s content! Below quote has nothing to do with your amazing music,

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
Bertrand Russell (1872 – 1970)

Oh H&T, don’t forget your high-heals and robes for we’re saving the rain-forest (aka planting pine trees) on Saturday. Hanna has all the details if you need any extra info, Tim.

Peaches in Heaven,

/Maria

P.S. Sorry Tim, I Yahoo’d “The Family Guy” and the following link came up. Gotta love it, below is supposedly “The Missing Dimension“. How many dimensions are there in life? Something to discuss over a cup of coffee perhaps?

I had lunch with friends today at above fabulous restaurant in Frölunda/Mölndal after my second to last radiation treatment. I was conversing with my long time nuptial mate Maria W and she said something that struck me, “Maria Z, I read your blog to find out how you’re doing but as my English is not good enough and your entries are so long, I end up just calling or emailing you”.

I probably gave her a really good explanation why I am uncomfortable about speaking about myself on this website. Yet, it left me pondering over my mission here, with all this. Is this fora to talk about me or about how I perceive the world around me? Taking a look occasionally (Zaman, “Yeah right”) on my blog stats page, I can see that I am getting quite a number of followers. I have my “Referrers” to thank such as andreasekstrom.se/wordpress, livetsegentligheter.wordpress.com, gunnelsvensson.blogspot.com and your.astrazeneca.net/portal/site/AZ/t…. I am even getting Search Engines turning up my link. Someone has supposedly found me by typing “Radiohead”. Sorry, I suppose you were hoping to find the real Radioheads and not some Swede or Turnip.

I’m not sure what “Incoming Links” mean, but since I found You Link Me, I Link You, I decided to do the same on my side-bar widget “Dig into Blogs and Fora (plural of FORUM)” and added “Gavin War Journals“. I haven’t had time to look at his site very much, but so far it looks promising.

If you really want to hear about my day, I can list it for you below:

08:45 My ride calls and asks if I’m asking to be late on purpose. I get dressed in 2 minutes and run through the forest to the other side to throw myself into Åke and Britta’s car.

09:15 Arrive just on time at SU. I introduce Åke and Britta to two of my heroes, Lena and Majid. I invite my sweet friends to come in with me to have a look at how it all goes about.

09:20 I hop on board and make myself comfortable under my purple “Honey I blew up the kid” shaver. Majid asks if I’m ready, I take a deep breath and he places the mask over my head. I remember that I’m allowed to breathe and the mask is secured to ensure that I lie in the same position as the previous 28 times. They check that the lasers shooting from the ceiling are all marking me on all the right places to ensure precision.

09:23 Majid says, “Vi ses om en stund, Maria” and leaves the room and I can now hear, “I’m nothing but a Hounddog” through the loudspeakers. I show them thumbs up, as I have a BIG Brother CCTV somewhere (isn’t that unethical and infringing my human rights, Sweden?) and someone turns the volume up for me. I give them the big O sign and I can try to relax.

09:25 The gamma machine shoots me, by this time probably a good two or three times. I’m definitely up in the air and going in circle.

09:26 I am listening to Suspicious Minds, my favourite song through all of this. It could probably just as well have been Always on My Mind for Maria to want to start crying each time.

We’re caught in a trap,
I can’t walk out
because I love you
too much baby

Why can’t you see,
what you’re doing to me
When you don’t believe
a word I say.

We can’t go on together,
with suspicious minds
And we can’t build our dreams,
on suspicious minds

So, if an old friend I know,
drops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion
in your eyes?

Here we go again,
asking where I’ve been
You can’t see these tears are real,
I’m crying

We can’t go on together,
with suspicious minds
And we can’t build our dreams,
on suspicious minds

Oh let our love survive -
or dry the tears from your eyes
Let’s don’t let a good thing die
When honey, you know
I’ve never lied to you
Mmm yeah, yeah[...]

I really can’t stay away, can I?

I pretty much just woke up. I got my clock-radio out and placed it on my bedside table last night. Some extra radiation now shouldn’t matter, right? What about my mobile phone. I hear better on my right ear. Should I switch to my left ear now, or keep going on my right? The hands free set gets too tangled up for me to have time to untangle it every day.

I woke up to the weather man. He speaks to the entire country, everyday, whether you want to or not. Today I learned to his droning voice that it will be partly cloudy with risk of rain (and sunshine?) with temperatures of 10-14 degrees. Hm, what part did he leave out? I guess the snow and hale. We had hale yesterday, though. So he definitely got that in yesterday, I’m sure. He’s covered.

I feel a bit more covered today. For the weather was followed by the news. In my mind, there were two pieces of news that Maria found interesting this morning before she turned of the radioheads in desperation. 1) It’s EU(REKA) day and Margot Wallström, who made the right choice to stay put in Brussels in my mind, is coming to Sweden. 2) Jan O Lötvall of Gothenburg University (GU) has a new article in Nature Cell Biology on a very interesting aspect of cell signalling. I get all happy with titles like these,

“Exosome-mediated transfer of mRNAs and microRNAs is a novel mechanism of genetic exchange between cells [...] or [...]

Thank you. However, I presume GU has the same trouble as the pharmaceutical industry, a good invention takes about ten years to commercialise. Imagine, the medicines that may save thousands of lives today are just test tube babies. However, these babies have to brew until 2017 before they’re let home. Hm, I hope I’m alive til’ then.

Not in the manner you may think. Do you remember this song in one of Disney’s films where they HAVE to have lit up on something?

I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date. No time to say hello goodbye, I’m late…

I have so much to tell you but there is so little time at the moment. During the evenings I want to spend time with my family and my calendar is currently more booked up than my calendar at work used to be.

I’m currently in an emailing mood. I can’t SMS for I can’t refill my telephone. GN, hello? What’s your current status?

Buildings burn
People die
But love lasts forever

I rarely remember quotes or passages without making a lot of effort. Above phrase? I just needed to hear it once to remember it forever.

The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.
Brandon Lee

I gave someone who I was a bridesmaid to in 1999 a jar of cloudberry jam (hjortronsylt). As my husband and I both have the engravings RB 1:16 in our wedding bands, I figured it would be okay to give the bride’s grandmother Ruth, 84, the jam for her to pass on. Ruth gave me two books in return. Me? I passed one of the books on, but I kept the other as it bore the title Varför Just Jag? (Why Me?).

Problem, I don’t have the energy to read. I pray for my energy to come back one day so that I may continue to seek knowledge in the world around me. It’s written by Jacob Damkani. Anyone read it? The title of the book is enough for me right now. I don’t need to know what’s in it. Besides, I have a bookmark already in place; Gary Larson’s “The Far Side” calendar page for Wednesday, May 2nd. The picture depicts a flock of sheep. However, one sheep is standing up with his “arms” raised and the text reads,

Wait! Wait! Listen to me!…
We don’t have to be sheep!

If I don’t have the energy to read much more than my daily Larsons, how could I bring myself to go to Sunday service today at church? The last time I was in Fiskebäcks Missionskyrka was February 25th, I believe. On that day I wanted to thank the congregation for praying for me. I just told them my story and that was it. Had I waited, I don’t think they would have heard it.

What I really came here to write about was Top8 movies. I want YOU to tell me your Top8 and perhaps a comment why, but no musts. There are very few musts in life I realise, even though we prefer to think so (?) My husband and son are outside in the beautiful weather. Pre-op Maria would have felt guilty for sitting by the computer. Post-op, Maria’s pretty okay with sitting here. I’m starting to think that guilt is something you don’t choose, whilst forgiveness is something we want and therefore determine. What do you think? Either way, I don’t want my blogging to take over my life, for I could literally sit here 24-7. I’m not kidding. Since many of my beasts of burdens have left the fortress, I’m starting to tread like a foul/foal. Am I dreaming? I can’t decide if it is my worst or best dream. Tell me.

I crave menial jobs for I don’t want to have to think that I am actually able to put two and two together. One plus one? Three. If someone tells you enough times that you are stupid, you start believing it. If you don’t learn as a kid what integrity is at school, how can you expect to know as an adult? Putting up a wall has never helped me. If there’s a film called “The Wall”, I will watch it with great interest.

Maria’s Top8, by random:

1. The Godfather- Supposedly a classic but I’ve only seen the first film (ok, half of it).
2. KISS, Live In Las Vegas (“The Unseen Concert”) – Father’s Day present for Zaman 2005. Too bad.
3. Double Jeopardy - One of my prime reasons for going to Liseberg; I can win lottery DVDs without losing too much money. “Murder is not always a crime”, hm, interesting thought.
4. Top Gun- I like the fact that you can crash and burn, but still be ok.
5. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon – I’ve heard that it is dubbed in the US. I will kill someone before watching a dubbed film, if I can help it.
6. Matrix- I’m actually someone who likes Keanu Reeves, because he took a role in Something’s Gotta Give (2003). Ok, I admit, I think Trinity and Morpheus are pretty hot & cool. Plus I’m an MIB fan.
7. Excalibur – Never seen, interesting subtext: “Forged by a God, foretold by a Wizard, found by a King”.
8. Romeo Must Die- Never seen. Enjoy Brandon/Bruce Lee movies.Plus, I like Hong Kong; it’s beautiful.

Maria’s Top8, CD & DVD :

1. Rules of Engagement- “The film is preseneted in cooperation with Aftonbladet”. Never seen but after Pulp Fiction, I am forever a Jackson fan.
2. American Beauty – …look closer. See, I never understood why you didn’t like it when there is so much beauty… ?
3. Shrek- Why? Myers, Murphy, Diaz, Lithgow. That’s why.
4. Stigmata – “The messenger must be silenced”. I don’t think so.
5. Moulin Rouge – Because I can now go there (with my brother’s girlfriend Laura I hope) and stay for free.
6. Pirates of the Caribbean- Because I am of a forgiving nature. Watched Gilbert Grape last night. Kathy, remind me on Friday for this is one film you don’t want to miss. I DO hope you’ve seen Chocolat, si?
7. Shrek 2- Not as good as Shrek I, but it’s good to see that Julie Andrews is still up and running.
8. John Deere, American Farmer- Not a movie (computer game) and picked up at Juula for <100 SEK. However, Zaman couldn’t figure out how to sow, which resulted in “game over”. Tips anyone?