I received a morse code ( … –…) from Talia the other day, or so I thought. When I read the SMS it said,

Ditt kontantkort är slut… fyll på innan du kan ringa mer. Mvh Telia.

Oh well, I’m down to 0.08 (zero) SEK on my mobile phone Subscriber Identity Module (SIM) card; however, the phone company “we-love-the-ballgame-Monopoly”, Telia, will shortly not have to send me any more text messages, for I have recently switched to Parlino.

According to the impressive salesman, it would supposedly just take “two weeks” for the contract and administration to go through, so any time now… I will keep you posted. What can go wrong with a company that gives their clients a florescent lime green garden gnome (GN)? Besides, I have been amusing myself with moving the GN around our garden in true Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amelie Poulain-style.

Hubby “WOW” Zaman was getting worried for a while, but 20 month-old Elton calmed him when jumping as high as someone who looks like a three-year-old possibly can, whilst reaching for the GN trapped in the bird-house. Better than being a GM. Any day now, my dears, and you shall find a post-card with the simple phrase,

Greetings from St.Petersburg.
Love, GN.

Ah, I love it every time I can tick off another box on ”Maria’s dream list”. It’s been a while since last, which worries me a bit. ENOUGH dreaming of TELIA. I much rather dream of my belly-dancing genius TALIA. Here’s another Maria secret. I like to hang out with people who impress me. What impresses me?

I can bet you almost anything that with my GN paragraph, Talia would be thinking “Angers’ Veggie Santa!”. Nope, my last night in Angers was hardly it, sister. As often happens when you start hanging out, you ask what your parents do (I’ve stopped). It’s a question that for some reason has always caught me off guard. To this day I don’t understand it but I told Talia that my father is a drug dealer. I wasn’t far off the mark for he works for a company which, in my opinion, has one of the best slogans in the world, namely “PhaSeal: Protects those who care“. In other words, he’s selling closed-system drug transfer cannulas. To go off on a 56-word tangent, these cannulas are favourable when administering antibiotics and cytotoxic drugs. Let’s spice things up even more. Statistically my oligoastrocytoma supposedly isn’t suitable to treat with cytostatics, so wish me luck when I head off for the magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) 4-6 months from now to see if the radiation therapy has worked. Sweet JC!

Anyway, back to the story, it wasn’t until some weeks(?) later whilst a group of us were shopping in Angers’ Super Monoprix that I realised Talia had believed me all this time. I was in the process of picking out a poubelle “to stash the drugs” that Talia asked, “the ones your father provides you with?” I was dumbstruck whilst the realization hit me that this girl had thought all along that my sweet ol’ Dad was in the drug trade. We’re not talking pharmaceutical business like my own, we’re meaning true George “Blow“ Jung, Medellín Cartel-style! But most importantly, she had still hung out with me all that time and to this date. Think of your reputation, girl!

I don’t think she will mind me showing the below YouTube video I found, which is part of my very own Bowling for Columbine promotion campaign.

“Live life but don’t let life live you”.

“Which witch is which”, Cookie? Which of you genius’ out there taught me above expression? I could probably Yahoo the phrase, for my Google search is currently mucked up. Why? Because I added the FIRE theme to my Google homepage, which interestingly results in my computer crashing every time I go anywhere near the site. If I do end up making an effort, remind me to also attempt to add the other four elements as themes: Audition, Gustation , Tactition and Olfaction. Maybe I’m getting confused, but I still love the film with the beautiful Milla “Leeloo” Jovovich.

To think of it, please also remind me that I should go to Kiev, USSR (now Ukraine) some time. St Petersburg is pretty high up on the list as well. That has more to do with a specific Joseph Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili (Russian: Иосиф Виссарионович Джугашвили [Iosif Vissarionovič Džugašvili]). NB!OBS!ATTENTION! The neutrality of the articles I have linked above are disputed, as is MY website, I suppose. However, in this forum, I am the dictator. YES, Finally! Apologies, I don’t mean to offend anybody, just don’t forget; I am the patient, thththank yyjjyou very much. Please read on as long as I don’t have to take any responsibility. I have enough trouble figuring out how personuppgiftslagen (PULa) and Copyright laws apply to a mental CANCER patient. I think I am doing pretty well with the first half. Copyright? To think of it, I am one big COPYCAT.

I admit it. I’m just asking to be sued. Don’t be surprised if I start taking music down from my site. I will start with “The Breath of Amor” for someone is bound to have “copyright” on Ludwig van Beethoven. I surly hope that company/person/animal/flower has taken a pro-life stance in the abortion debate, or I’m rich! However, I will do anything for my family if I get scared enough. Terrorists beware.

“The (above) information card on Joseph Stalin, from the files of the Tsarist secret police in St. Petersburg”

Just tell me? Where does Thermoception, Nociception, Equilibrioception and Proprioception come into everything? Why five senses and not my lucky 13?

I take great pride in being one of the first people in my community of friends that started using Google. Do you want to know why I like Google? Hands up if you know what a google/googol is (without clicking on the link)? I learned a google in seventh/eighth grade at Seisen ~1990. The American girl, Andrea, who loved her Maths teacher Mr. B (or was it Sullivan?) allowed me to pick up a few facts or two whilst trying to impress Mr. B(?). He was cute, I must admit, and considering we were in an all-girls school, a cute British Maths teacher with a Hugh Grant accent (without the swimming goggles) would get me to sign up for higher Mathssss any day. Oh yeah, a google is ten duotrigintillion, or as Andrea put it, “a google is ten raised to a hundred, Mr. B!”.  

If your Math needs some brushing up (mine certainly does), below follows a simpler explanation:

ten duotrigintillion = 10¹⁰⁰ = 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

I forgot to mention the sense of sight. However, if I had a choice and had to lose any of the marbles mentioned above, I would choose the sight marble any day. I have asked a few people this question and so far only my husband answers the same. Perhaps that’s partly why I married the man.