Does honey and warm milk really work? Am I sipping this brew because I really think it is going to make me sleep? Either way, it tastes good. Besides, I need some therapy and so, here I sit sipping brew.

I was told that I am “whiny” today. See, I don’t really care if “someone” calls me whiny; but when that person is someone who you have let into your life behind the fence, it hurts. YOU try having a brain tumour, the flu and your period all in one week!

You have all heard the tearful song “Love hurts“, right? When I listen to music, I often have trouble making out the lyrics (to my husband’s great distress when I sing to the car radio). Until only a couple of years ago, I was absolutely certain Nazareth was singing “Lovebirds”. It didn’t strike me that this beautiful love song about two birds was actually about something else. When I came to the realisation, I felt stupid (who wouldn’t?) but also a bit sad. I still think it is a good song, though. Beautiful and painful all at once.

I am currently reading a book, lent to me just the other day, with the inspiring title JAG KAN BARA LEVA (directly translated, “I Can Only Live”). It’s a biography written by a 23 year-old Swedish girl, Katarina Fahlström, and her life experiences battling leukaemia in 1997. I’ve come to page 87 and seriously considering handing the book back. My 1997 represented freedom after graduating from International Baccalaureate (IB), which is a story itself. While one girl was fighting a losing battle, my life took a turn for the better. In a small way I am celebrating my very own ten year anniversary of “living life to the fullest”; ten years of loving myself, which in turn has helped me love others.

I am inclined to hold on to the book a while longer, for never have I read anything that hits so close to home. It could be me up until page 87. For some odd reason I thought I was alone in what has been happening. I thought I was alone with all my thoughts, feelings and ideas about the world around me, what is happening to me, where I am going and where this will end. I’m not alone and hardly unique. Someone has travelled this path ahead of me and that feeling is quite soothing. Loneliness is a hard feeling to have to live with. I have so many people around me who genuinely care; I am blessed beyone belief. So why do I feel as if I am back in the operating theatre surrounded by green-robed people? At the moment it feels as if it’s just God and me and one long roller-coaster. Many of you seem daring and willing to jump on board, some of you are probably already seated. Either way, this roller-coaster is going to live.