How many “soul mates” are we allowed having? I have always said that my husband has a monopoly as my “best friend and lover”, which, in my mind, will stand until the very end, come what may. Come What May was one of the songs my beautiful sister-in-law together with one of my very closest friends sang during our wedding ceremony in August 2004. I just thought I would share that with you.

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I’ve never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I’m loving you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

My brain tumour has allowed me to open my eyes and witness individuals who pre-January 31st I considered (I hate categorising people) “close friends” as well as some very specific “peripheral friends”. I don’t wish to think recent events have resulted in above-mentioned feeling so sorry for me, whereby obliging them to hang out with the brain tumour girl who has a “50/50” chance (don’t get hooked up on statistics) of surviving. From my point of view, I honestly believe my soul mates have blessed me, including helping me to cope and see life (and death) from different angles. What can I say, I am a news-junkie and I love angles.

I would also like to add that I am grateful for freedom of religion, including Sweden’s, to provide me with angles. I strongly believe in the 5th Habit “seek first to understand and then to be understood” talked about in a brilliant book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven R. Covey, that I was introduced to by an old friend all the way back in the summer of 1996, during an “IB Study Course” in lovely Oxford.

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there’s no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I’ll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

I realise that I can’t expect everyone to suddenly want to become best friends with me. For many, a brain tumour diagnosis may be, understandably, just a little too extreme for comfort. Last but not least, I am blessed not having to experience an “existential vacuum” as many probably would when having to deal with certain life crisis’. I came to the following realisation the other night when I experienced one of my “cry my eyes out” episodes: I am not afraid of dying, I am afraid of not living.

Come what may